As much as we don’t want to believe it, we are all flawed. We can try to be as perfect as possible, but to be human is to be flawed. This isn’t to say you shouldn’t do the best you can — you should — but you must come to terms with the fact that you aren’t perfect. Doing so will take a lot of pressure off during your recovery from substance use. Learning not to dwell on your mistakes will also help your recovery. If you’re struggling in recovery, take it easy on yourself for a change. After all, no one is perfect.
You are Not Alone
If you’re caught up over a silly mistake you made at work or forgetting to call a friend back, you aren’t alone. Everyone is hard on themselves because we all want to be as close to perfect as we can be. We all hold grudges with ourselves. You should’ve done better on that test, you scold yourself. You should’ve paid more attention to your phone, you think to yourself.
Everyone has moments where they feel like they can’t do anything right so, if you’re feeling poorly about past mistakes, you aren’t alone. Blaming yourself for a mistake can only do so much good. You can’t change the past, no matter how hard you try, so take it easy on yourself. It’s natural to hold yourself accountable, but the only thing you can do is try to learn from your mistake the next time.
You are Harder on Yourself
Because you often expect perfection from yourself, you are naturally harder on yourself than you are on other people. You probably worry that a mistake may cost you a job or a friendship. While this is a natural worry, it’s important to remember that others are typically so focused on themselves that they probably do not notice your little mistakes.
Everyone is harder on themselves than they are on their friends and family. The truth is, we’re all paying such close attention to ourselves that we don’t notice others are doing the same. Realizing that others aren’t going to be hard on you is a liberating feeling that can help open you up to doing your best and forgetting the rest.
Choosing to forgive yourself is a powerful thing. It can be difficult to accept that we’re flawed, but it’s a necessary part of your recovery. Try to forgive yourself for that first sip of alcohol that led you down this path of substance abuse. Try to forgive yourself for slipping up and engaging in drug use when you know you shouldn’t have.
Being unnecessarily cruel to yourself now isn’t going to take away that relapse or change where you are. Instead, forgiveness is where the real change is. You can use your mistake to learn and change the way you act in the future. Don’t dwell on what you should’ve done. Accept the mistake and allow yourself to move on. You deserve the peace of mind that comes with choosing forgiveness.
When you realize you’ve made a mistake, your first thought is probably to jump into a pattern of overthinking and overanalyzing. Remember that this will not change the past. If you’ve found yourself amidst a relapse, realize that all the wishing in the world won’t change where you currently are. The only thing you can do is hold yourself accountable and learn from your mistake. Look at the relapse in a new light.
Let it motivate you back on the journey of recovery. Instead of overthinking, use this time to reflect on your decisions. How can this relapse help you move forward? How can what you’ve learned about this mistake help you navigate your emotions and find your way through the hard times?
Resilience is key when you are in recovery. You’re going to make mistakes. Recovery is a work in progress. Instead of dwelling, be resilient. Allow yourself to accept what you cannot change and focus on changing what is in your power. Set goals and monitor where you are putting your effort.
If you are still putting significant effort into trying to change the past, you aren’t working toward reaching your current goals. Take control of your current situation, ultimately allowing yourself to bounce back from your relapse and come back stronger than ever!
Other People Are Flawed, Too
Remember that other people aren’t perfect, either. Part of being resilient is knowing that you cannot control the opinions of others. Realize that just like you are learning from your mistakes, they, too, are learning from their mistakes. No one has it all figured out, so focus on what you can control and let the rest happen naturally.
Sober Life is here to help you learn from your mistakes and get back on the road to recovery. We know it isn’t easy, but we know it’s worth it. We want to provide you with the tools you need to be successful and resilient in your recovery. We want to help teach you how to forgive yourself and be the best person that you can be. Call us today at (619) 542-9542. Sober Life cannot wait to speak with you and get you the help you need today. Call us now; you won’t be disappointed with what Sober Life has to offer.