How Self-Reliant Are You?
When you think about self-reliance, you may think of someone who is physically strong and forges their own path without considering other people’s opinions. In this way, self-reliance isn’t shown in such a positive light. However, being self-reliant isn’t so much about physical strength as it is mental strength. When you are self-reliant, you know what you want and you aren’t afraid to go get it. You have a strong sense of trust in yourself and strive to be the best you can. You also know that balance is important, too. You know that if you believe that the best plan of action is to ask for help, that relying on that belief is you being self-reliant!
But, maybe you don’t identify with this outlook yet. You might find yourself always falling back on your support system to help you make decisions. You might find yourself putting others before yourself when it’s not the best thing to do. Allowing balance is important, you can’t let the scales tip so far in the direction of relying on others. Flex those independence muscles and ask yourself a few of these questions to see how self-reliant you really are!
- If you are presented with a minor problem, who do you rely on to solve it?
- How do you spend your free time?
- Do you schedule alone time?
- How would you describe your relationships with yourself in comparison to your relationships with others?
- Who makes decisions most of the time?
- How do you confront someone about something they have done wrong?
These are all things to take into account when you are deciding whether you need to be more self-reliant. If you are finding out that you rely on others more than you previously thought, we can help you figure out how to become more self-reliant.
Own Your Choices
We make decisions every day. What should you wear today? What should you eat today? What should you spend your time doing today? All of these things you must decide upon gives you the freedom to make your own decisions or follow someone else’s lead. Of course, you cannot possibly be the one making every single decision, especially when the situation involves others. You can, however, drop the need to seek approval or permission from others for your every move.
Owning your choices means that you are willing to make decisions for yourself and accept the outcomes of those decisions. When you own your choices, you’ll feel a greater sense of self-esteem. You’ll be satisfied with your actions because you made the decision to put on that dress, eat that extra slice of pizza, or take that self-care day. Do be satisfied, however, you must remain confident in your decisions. You have the skills and resources to reach your goals, so own those choices and see where they take you!
Find a Balance
Although it’s important to allow yourself to make decisions for yourself, remember that others are working on the same things that you are working on. They may be practicing self-reliance and their independence, so make sure you allow a balance within a relationship. If you feel like you are making too many of the decisions for the group, step back and allow someone else the pleasure of taking a bit of control.
Another part of finding a balance within self-reliance is allowing yourself to feel the support of others. If you decide that today you need an extra layer of support, do not be afraid to reach out to someone in your support system. You deserve to feel the love and acceptance of those that love you. Having a partner or friend that can help be your support system but also hold you accountable is a wonderful thing!
For example, let’s say you are trying to stop your drug use. It’s going to be difficult to stop all at once, so you and your friend decide that you are going to taper off the drug use until you get to a point where you can stop completely. One way to practice self-reliance, but also use your support system in a healthy way, is to set up check-ins.
Every day or so, check in with your friend to see where they are with decreasing their drug use. They can do the same with you to see how you are doing. When you allow yourself the space to make decisions for yourself, you feel that independence. But just because you are being self-reliant doesn’t mean you have to exclude others. Find that balance!
Trust Yourself to Recover
If you are struggling with substance use and you don’t know where to start that journey to recovery, taking control is a good first step. You may not be able to do it alone — that’s what Sober Life is here for. We can help you practice self-reliance skills so that you can trust yourself in your recovery. We want to help make you more resilient, giving you the skills you need to be successful in your recovery.
If you are struggling with substance use, Sober Life is here to help. We offer many programs that can benefit you in your recovery. Call us today at 1-619-542-9542. We can’t wait to speak with you and help get you started on your journey to recovery. Call now!