Control the Controllable

by | Sep 8, 2020 | Recovery

Control the Controllable

Your recovery isn’t going to be free from frustration. There will be times where you don’t get what you were hoping for even though you did all that you could. You aren’t going to get every opportunity that you think you need. Life is often unpredictable and not always fair.

If you’re struggling with dealing with frustration in healthy ways, you’re going to have to learn how to recognize and adjust to the curve balls that come with recovery. Controlling what you can control is a big part of dealing with frustration.

Fighting Frustration

In order to live the life you want, you’re going to have to learn how to fight off the frustration you’re feeling when you don’t get what you want. Learning how to cope with frustrating moments is vital to your life-long recovery. One of the first steps to fighting frustration is increasing awareness.

If you don’t yet have the self-awareness to recognize when a moment has the potential to bring frustration, you might find yourself overwhelmed when the frustration arises. Learning to control what you can control is essential to fighting frustration.

Control the Controllable

If you’re struggling with regulating the frustration you’re feeling, you might be too caught up in having a sense of control. This isn’t abnormal. Almost everyone wants to feel like they are in control of a situation, especially a stressful one. There are, however, going to be things that you have absolutely no control over.

These are the things you must let go of. The more time you spend trying to control something that is out of your control, the more frustration you will experience. Once you realize that you may not have the ability to control something, you must have an open-minded approach.

Be open to letting things happen as they are intended to, even if you don’t have control over them. Also, remember to not take everything personally. You cannot control the thoughts and behaviors of others; be open to letting them unfold the way they are going to unfold.

Remind yourself that the thoughts and behaviors of other people have nothing to do with you. Don’t assume responsibility for other people. Accepting that you can’t control them will relieve you of frustration.

Use Frustration as Motivation

If you are feeling overwhelmed with frustration and can’t seem to let it go, use that frustration as motivation. Frustration isn’t always a bad thing, especially if you can use it to your advantage. If you are frustrated with something in your recovery that is within your control, turn that frustration into something useful.

Take a look at what is truly causing that frustration. Are you pushing back against something that can help you feel healthy and happy? What would happen if you didn’t resist it? If you have the ability to change a frustrating situation, use your energy to change the situation. Dig deep and figure out what you are truly struggling with and why you are struggling with it.

If you are having trouble figuring this out on your own, Sober Life can help. Our staff is trained and has experience in helping people in recovery. We can help teach you how to use your frustration as motivation to change your recovery for the better.

Form New Habits and Relationships

An aspect of your frustration may be that you are holding onto something that no longer serves you. As you grow in your recovery, you will outgrow old habits and relationships. This is normal. You aren’t obligated to cling to old habits or relationships that once meant something to you. If they no longer serve you, have the courage to let them go.

Releasing the frustration that these things bring you will help you choose joy. The things that you continue to nurture in your recovery will put your beliefs to the test. There will be things that frustrate you that don’t have an immediate solution. Trying to prove your point by being right all the time can be exhausting.

If someone close to you has a different perspective than you, you may feel the need to prove why you are right. Instead of doing so, which can cause stress on the relationship, choose the peacefulness of joy. You don’t have to further frustrate yourself by proving your point.

You can’t control the other person and they usually won’t change their mind, no matter how convincing you are. Instead, you can choose to let it go as you form new habits and relationships.

Choose Joy

Choosing joy looks different for everyone. The root of joy, though, is making sure that your needs are met. You must make sure that you are eating healthy, sleeping well, and feeling safe. If these basic needs are not met, frustration will feel insurmountable.

Once you are fed, rested, and safe, take the time to work on your mindset. If you are feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to step back and breathe. Create a space for yourself where you can focus on what you can control. Figure out what you need to do in order to be successful in your recovery; then focus on working toward achieving those goals.

Frustration will come and go during the process, but having the right tools to combat it will make your recovery much more manageable.

If you feel like you don’t yet have the tools for a successful recovery, Sober Life can help with that. We offer many different programs that can be beneficial for your substance-free life. Call us at (619) 304-3014. We can’t wait to speak with you and get you the help you need today!


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